thoughts on thoughs

Just when u start feeling good, something happens, and it doesnt need to be bad, just, something happens. My week was nice, interesting, fun, and sad. Melhancoly reaches my heart and i dont know what to do. Relationships are so complicated and i dont want to fall in love because i know i will end up crushed. I had a wonderful time with this dream of mine, a dream come true, prince charming might i say; yeah i know what u might think, that happens a lot, but not to me, i dont want to build castles on the air, i felt so confortable and save, but in the hands of another guy; do you want to hear about him? He`s such a gentleman, so caring and considerated, so intelligent and fun, restless, he`s so cute; and dont let me start on his body, and face, oh he`s so cute, such a nice body so... And i know im fortunate, im just lucky someone like that wanted to know me, i know im not as cute as the other guys around, i did felt defenseless againts all the cute guys with nice jeans and snikers,going out at night, and when he turn to see them, it was like i knew i was nothing compare to them. But he went looking at me again, and though i knew he just did it just so i wont feel bad, a slice of myself wanted it to be real. To tell u the truth, im so tired of having trouble because of someone, so tired of not being able to enjoy something because he cant afford it, but not everything is bad, so, why am i feeling that i did something wrong but i wont regret it, or better say, i enjoy it, and i will regret it because i met a great man and he said he liked me, and i just wanted to ask him to be mine, but i couldnt... Life really turns funny, and though i dont feel bad for doing it, and fear wont ever let me go for i feel much too vulnerable, and i will never let myself do things i might enjoy. Am I too young for a steady relation? or am i too old? A part of me wants to let go and run, fly to his arms and listen to his jokes, to all the words that come out of his mouth; but what if he gets tired of me?, what if im not what he is looking for? or maybe i just should relax and let it happen. Will i hear from him soon? will i ever? How could u stop falling in love? My life has to be different now, it has to change and i will have to grow and live what i have to live.